Salute - Spend £100 and Get
in Free with Artemis Black's
No we're not dead, for those who thought we were I've added some
info at the bottom of this post. I'd do it up here at the top but
the other 99% of people who opened this post couldn't give a
monkey's and want to know how they can get into Salute free so
...
Spend £100.
Ok, that was shorter than I imagined it would be but basically
that's it. Spend £100 in crisp British currency at our stand and
we'll hand you back the £9 entrance fee. And yes, you have to
actually give us the money. None of this "Well can't I just take
£9 off the total" malarkey that a few unnamed souls tried last
year. Get into the spirit of things you grumpy sods!
(Besides, I've made up lil printed 'I used and abused Artemis
Black to get in Free' pieces of flimsy paper to put in with the £9
so you're damn well having them now - If you're really lucky I
might even have time to make them into stickers and you can show
off to all your buddies)
Oh yeah, you're probably going to want to know what you can spend
£100 'on' at some point during this long winded waffle.
First off you can find us at stand TJ105, right next to the
painting competition and down the central aisle...
Now, we have for you this fine day all the usual items you can
find at our online store including...
Gamezone Miniatures at up to 15% off
Warmachine, Hordes and Iron Kingdoms at up to 15% off
Infinity Miniatures at up to 15% off
Dark Age Games at up to 20% off
Hasslefree & Black Scorpion at RRP! (Yeah I know, it spoils the
rhythm but they're also at the show and we like them. Plus I'm a
bit worried that Sal could take me)
We'll also be bringing along Shadowforge, Warcrow, Thunderbolt
Mountain, AT-43, Darkson Designs, Tactical Miniatures, Coat D'Arms
Paints and Thrud Comics.
I believe we might also find room in the van for Salute exclusives
on Wyrd Miniatures, Dragonrune Miniatures, Dragonblood Miniatures
and Amera Plastic Scenery, FU-UK Miniatures, Tehnolog Scenery,
Coat D'Arms Paints and Thrud Comics.
We'll also be selling off our remaining supplies of Spyglass
Miniatures and Magnificent Egos.
(No, we have no problem with either company but both are going
through a long and major overhaul at the moment and when they come
back we hope to represent them both once again)
I think that's everything. Oh we'll also have a rummage box with
some assorted tat (Ed's note - He means top quality merchandise)
I'm sure. We always have one and every year someone practically
brings a sleeping bag and a flask and spend 7 hours looking at
every single old miniature in there twice. We love that guy!
See you there!
Artemis.
Oh yeah, for the 1% who actually want to know where we've been...
We closed for family reasons, no I'm not telling, mainly for two
reasons. First one is I don't want anyone thinking I'm looking for
sympathy money and second one is it's none of your business,
nosey! I've now arranged various parts of my life so that I can
reopen the business at the standard I always aim for. Technically
I did that about 2 months ago but apparently in a previous life I
may have urinated on God's fried potato products or something
because the instant I started redoing the website our broadband
broke, and as soon as we got that fixed our domain host managed to
turn off our catchall email and I was shocked, shocked I tell you,
to find out they seem to have employed actual simians as a support
staff. So now that the amazing episode of 'Mr Bean owns a Hobby
Store' is over and I've had a word with the big man upstairs and
promised him my first born we're re-opening, right now, for
Salute.
Done. That's it. Don't ask me about it again unless you come armed
with a particularly good sympathetic face. And some money.
Salute Recipe - Frother Cake
Take 1 crisp £20 note
Drop into an overweight man's sweaty hand
Add one delightful phrase
Remove any superfluous metal bits
Simmer gently for a few seconds and voila!
FREE CAKE BABY!
That's right, we're back, we're black, we're proud and we're once
again giving away cakes!*
Are you a slightly obsessive miniature fan and do you like sweet
baked goods? Well come along and prove it! Anyone who spends £20
at our stand and utters the nigh on immortal phrase...
"I am a Frother and I Like Cake!"
...can claim... 1 Free Cake!
After previous years successes we are continuing our slightly
weird obsession with bringing cakes to the masses. As per previous
years for the big spenders amongst you it's 1 cake per £20 spent
and no limit!
Do you want to join the most elite club in wargaming? Well be the
first to spend £100 or over and utter the magic phrase and you
will become the ubercake winner! You too could be these people..
As always, there is a catch. "Absolutely no mumbling will be
tolerated! The phrase must be said loud and proud. We will accept
a slight accent, but clear enunciation is a bonus. No
behind-the-hand whispering or over the shoulder checking is
allowed."
A slight disclaimer - Just to please a few pseudo-anarchists out
there, you know who you are!, the cakes will be from a variety of
stores so anyone who thinks Tesco managers eat babies and Asda
trolley boys sell crack to nuns** can be safe in the knowledge
that there will be an untainted option for them to claim. I'm
afraid that the other complainants from last year, the ... non
cake eaters *spit* are just out of luck, we will not be bringing
celery sticks or gluten free, fat free, dairy free, fruitarian
muffins. There may however be Jaffa Cake bars which are
practically fruit!
See you there!
Artemis
*Well, actually we're all white and technically we're not really
giving away cakes as you have to buy stuff and say a weird phrase
but you get the gist
** Artemis Black's do no under any circumstances promote the idea
that either of these are true although we were told by a street
bum that Morrisons is a cover for a secret alien cult.
Dark Age at Salute
Once again Artemis Black's will be showing off Dark Age in all
it's glory at Salute.
We'll be showing off some pre-release miniatures of the upcoming
Mandible and Special Edition Helexa as well as carrying the entire
line including the newest release of the awesome resin Ice
Elemental!
We'll be running participation demos all day at stand GH094, right
next to the Artemis Black's trade stand...
.. feel free to come along and take control of the forces of the
rage filled St Mary or the uhm... rage filled Skarrd Cult of
Toxin!
There will be free refreshments for all demo participants
throughout the day.
See you there!
Artemis
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